Illusion of Gaia Translation Commentary Part 6: Edward Castle Part 1

Tim encounters a despot

Our normal disclaimers:

• I’m an amateur. My advantage over the original translation is that I have no deadline pressure, and I have the modern internet to help me. I’m assuredly wrong about some of my translations.

• Translation is hard. When I point out a mistranslation, it’s not a judgment of the original translator(s). They had a deadline and poor resources.

• Some of my translations are rather liberal. I’ll usually make note if so.

• Please no jokes in the comments about Karen being a Karen. It is a not-even-thinly-veiled synonym for b**** and it’s mean to the thousands of people named Karen.

Notation reminder:
JP: Original Japanese
T: My translation
OE: Original English

I forgot to pop by Gem’s. With 3 jewels in hand, he’ll now give us a prize.

JP: 君からは　今　３コの　赤い宝石を　あずかっているよ。
おっと　集めた宝石が　３コを　越えているじゃないかっ！リストの通り　薬草をあげなくては。
宝石商から　薬草をもらった！
T: Right now I’m taking care of 3 red jewels for you.
Well hey, looks like you’ve surpassed 3 jewels, haven’t you! According to the list, you get a medicinal herb.
Got a medicinal herb from the jeweler!
OE: I’m holding 3 of the Red Jewels for you.
You’ve collected more than three Jewels!
According to the list, you get the herb!
You received the herb!

JP: どこへ　むかいますか？
やめる
エドワード城
T: Where are you going?
Quit
Edward Castle
OE: Where do you go?
Quit
Edward’s Castle

The OE is literally correct. It says “where do you go?” But that’s not how you’d normally phrase it in English. Where are you going?, where to?, where are you headed? all sound more natural to me.

If you look closely, you’ll see that Edward Castle was renamed to Edward’s Castle in the OE—not just in dialogue boxes, but on the Mode 7 map as well.

JP: エドワード城
T: Edward Castle
OE: Edward’s Castle

JP: 兵士：　ここは　エドワード王の城。 国王に　えっけんに　きたのなら 名を　なのられよ。
T: Soldier: This is King Edward’s castle. If you came for an audience with his highness, then give me your name.
OE: Soldier: This is King Edward’s castle. I must report this intrusion.

I’m guessing this intrusion issue came from えっけん (ekken) which can mean unauthorized, but in this case means audience with a superior.

JP: テムは　門番に エドワード王の手紙を　見せた。
T: Tim showed the king’s letter to the guards.
OE: Will shows the letter to the guard.

In this case I think the game made a mistake, rather than the OE. This text is yellow and so shouldn’t be in third person. I guess it’s no wonder OE mixes this up frequently, when the game itself can’t be bothered to stay consistent. Yellow text is supposed to be Tim’s internal dialogue, but I guess not always. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JP: 兵士：国王の　お客様でしたか。 大変　失礼いたしました。 どうぞ　お入り下さい。
T: Soldier: You’re the king’s guest? I sincerely apologize. By all means, please enter.
OE: Soldier: A guest of the King? I’m sorry, you may pass.

The guards separate and go their separate ways. If you talk to the guard on the right before he stops walking around, he says:

JP: ここは　エドワード国王の城。　くれぐれも　そそうのないようにな。　それでなくても　国王は　きびしい　お方　なんだから。
T: This is King Edward’s castle. I urge you not to be careless. The king can be quite unsparing.
OE: This is King Edward’s castle. Be courteous and know that the King is very strict.

If you follow that same guard all the way to the right, he’ll hide behind a pillar. Talk to him while he’s behind the pillar for different dialogue (and a Red Jewel):

JP: しっ。　声をたてるなよ。 さぼっているのが　バレるだろっ。
そのかわり　君には　赤い宝石を 一つ　あげるから。
T: Shh. Keep it down. You might give it away that I’m slacking off.
In return, I’ll give you a Red Jewel.
OE: Don’t raise your voice. And mind your manners.
In exchange, I will give you one Red Jewel.

I think the OE got confused about who, exactly, is さぼっている (sabotteiru - slacking off). That’s probably where the mind your manners mistranslation came from.

JP: ここは　エドワード国王の城です。 国王と　会見するならば 2階へ　上がってください。
T: This is King Edward’s castle. For your audience with the king, please go up to the second floor.
Oe: This is King Edward’s castle.
Go to the second floor if you want to meet King Edward.

You can’t actually go upstairs yet, though. There’s a guard in the way saying…

JP: エドワード国王は　朝食を とられているところだ。 今しばらくしてから　くるがよい。
T: King Edward is currently eating breakfast. Please come back in a short while.
OE: King Edward is having breakfast. Wait a while, then enter.

JP: 近ごろ　殺し屋が　やとわれたの。 国王は　いったい　何を 考えているのかしら．．．
T: Recently, an assassin was hired. What in the heck is the king thinking?
OE: Recently, a hunter was hired. I wonder what the king is thinking…

This is almost certainly censorship rather than a mistranslation. There’s no mistaking 殺し屋 (koroshiya - professional killer / hit man). It’s got the kanji for kill in it: 殺. Back in the NES/SNES era, it was common for games to remove all direct references to death and murder and replace them with euphemisms.

JP: 兵士： この先は　地下のろうや。 一般人　立ち入る場所では ない。
T: Soldier: Past here is the underground jail. It is not open to members of the public.
OE: Soldier: This is the underground prison. Innocent people can’t enter.

In the right tower, there’s a maid on the second floor:

JP: あなた　テムさんね。 エドワード国王に　よびだされたん でしょ？
何だか　国王はいらついてるの。 気をつけてね。
T: So you’re Tim? You were summoned by King Edward, right?
The king is somewhat irritable. Watch yourself.
OE: So you’re Will. You were summoned by King Edward?
Be careful when you meet with him.

JP: ぼ　ぼくは　君のことが．．．
T: I… I… the thing about you is…
OE: I… I love… you…

This shy guard is rather direct in the OE. It’s clear he’s trying to express romantic feelings in the original, but he’s more vague about it.

JP: まあ　この人ったら てれちゃって．．．
でも　世界中のどこかには　必ず 自分を　思ってくれている人が いるものなのね．．．。
T: Good gracious, this guy is ridiculously shy.
But I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty nice that there’s someone out there who’s always thinking about me.
OE: Well, he’s shy…
I’m glad that somewhere in the world there is someone who is thinking of me.

人ったら (hitottara) means as for a/the person, but implies annoyance. She’s a little peeved that he’s so shy.

Now let’s go to Karen’s room. It’s being guarded.

JP: 兵士： ここは　ひめさまのお部屋。 見知らぬ者を　通すわけにはいかん。
T: Soldier: This is the princess’s room. Strangers aren’t allowed in.
OE: This is the Princess’s room. Strangers can’t enter.

JP: カレン：　だあれ？
カレン：　お客さま？
T + OE: Kara/Karen: Who is it?
A guest?

JP: 兵士： うすよごれた　平民の少年です。
T: Soldier: It’s some filthy commoner boy.
OE: Soldier: This is just a shabby boy.

JP: テム： ぼくだよ、　カレン！
カレン： あ．．．　その声は．．．
T: Tim: It’s me, Karen!
Karen: Ahhh, that voice…
OE: Will: It’s me, Kara
Kara: Oh… That voice…

JP: 通しなさい。　さもないと あなたの　むかしのあだ名を バラすわよ。
T: Let him through. Otherwise I’ll tell everyone your old nickname.
OE: Let him in, or I’ll tell everyone your old nickname.

JP: 兵士：　うわッ。 そ、　それだけは　ごかんべんを！ どうぞ　お通りください。
T: Soldier: Aaah! F-forgive me! By all means, please enter.
OE: Soldier: Oh, pardon me! Please enter!

You can talk to the guard again before you speak to Karen:

JP: まいったなぁ．．．ブツブツ
T: I surrender. *grumble grumble*
OE: I’m at a loss…

JP: カレン： あなたは　きのうの．．．
T: Karen: We met yesterday.
OE: You…yesterday…

Let’s talk about は (wa). は is a particle that marks something as a topic, usually translated as as for. Here, Karen’s sentence is As for you, yesterday’s… with the ever-common ellipses leaving out the rest of her thought. This makes the OE literally accurate, but it’s one of countless places where literal accuracy sounds unnatural.

It’s common in Japanese to just say X は and expect people to figure out the unsaid part. For example, you’ve probably heard that 今日は (konnichiwa) means hello or good day. And it does, in terms of how it’s used. But literally it means as for today. The implied bit would be something like, I hope it’s going well for you.

Here, I think it’s appropriate to go ahead and write out Karen’s implied sentiment. I’d assume she intends to say something like as for you, I remember from yesterday’s events or as for you, you’re the person I met yesterday. The OE translates stuff like this literally all the time, so you get these one word stutters that make characters sound like they can’t put a thought together.

JP: テム：　エドワード国王に 水しょうの指輪を　持ってくるように 言われたんだけどさ．．．
T: Tim: I was told by King Edward to bring the crystal ring here, but…
OE: Will: I was told to bring the Crystal Ring to King Edward…

JP: カレン： ひどい！　ひどいっ！ ひっどーいっ！
また　お父様は　他人の　大切な物を 取り上げようと　してるのねっ！
T: Karen: That’s terrible! Terrible, terrrrrible!
Once again father is trying to take something important from someone else!
OE: Kara: Terrible! It’s terrible!
Again my father is trying to take something important from someone!

JP: あたしもね　ちょっと お城をぬけだしたら　おしおきで ここから　出してくれないのよ！
T: That goes for me too, somewhat. After I slipped out of the castle, my punishment is that I can’t leave this room!
OE: I’ve escaped from the castle before. Now they won’t let me go out!

JP doesn’t specify that she can’t leave the room, but it stands to reason. She already wasn’t supposed to leave the castle, and now she has a guard posted at her door. She’s effectively imprisoned.

JP: でも　このところ　お城のふんいきが ちょっとおかしいの。
お母さまったら　殺し屋まで やとったのよ。 うす気味　悪いわ．．．
T: And the mood around the castle has gotten a little peculiar.
Ugh, my mother even went as far as hiring a hit man! It’s so creepy.
OE: Recently, something very strange has happened in the castle.
My mother has hired a famous hunter. It’s ominous…

JP: 兵士： おひめさま、　もう　そろそろ．．．
T: Soldier: Princess, it’s about time.
OE: Soldier: Princess, let’s go.

Karen isn’t going anywhere. He’s telling her to wrap it up.

JP: カレン：　ねえ　テム。 あたし　とっても　不安なの。 父も母も　人が変わったみたい。
おねがい、　わたしを　たすけて。 どうか　ここから連れだして！ おねがい．．．．
T: Karen: Hey, Tim. I’m so worried. Father and mother seem like different people.
Please, help me. Somehow or other, take me with you. Please.
OE: Kara: I feel scared. My father and mother seem to have changed.
Please save me! Take me out of here! Please…

Translating this gives me a lot more sympathy for Karen. She’s a nice girl whose parents have been taken over by a dark power (presumably the comet). Realizing she’s Nice, Actually makes all this dialogue weightier for me.

JP: 兵士：　おひめさま．．．
カレン： おねがい、　きっと　きてね、テム。
T: Soldier: Your highness.
Karen: Please! Surely you’ll come for me, right Tim?
OE: Soldier: Princess…
Kara: Please come back, Will.

I think she sounds more desperate in JP as well. This is all pretty sad.

Karen just repeats her final plea at this point. If you talk to the guard, he says:

JP: さあ　用がすんだら 帰った　帰った！
それっ！
T: Come on, time’s up. Out, out!
Now!
OE: Your business is finished. Get out!
Now!

If you’re standing to his right, the game will launch you off to the right as he says this. Funny.

JP: この先は　えっけん室。 国王に会見するなら　この階段を 登るがよい。
T: Past here is the audience chamber. If you have an audience with the king, you can take this staircase.
OE: The interview room is before you. Climb the stairs to meet the king.

JP: 兵士： テムさん　ですね。 お待ちしておりました。 さあ　エドワード国王のところへ。
T: Soldier: Tim, right? We’ve been waiting for you. Go on, speak to King Edward.
OE: Soldier: So you are Will. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Let’s go see King Edward.

Both guards on either side of the throne say the same thing:

JP: 兵士： 会見ならば　うろうろせずに 国王に　話しかけよ。
T: Soldier: If you have an audience with the king, speak to him without delay.
OE: Soldier: If you want to see the King, keep your wits about you.

JP: エドワード王后： あなたに手紙を送ったのは　国王よ。 あの人に　話しかけてちょうだい。
T: Queen Edward: The letter you got was sent by the king. Please speak to him.
OE: Queen Edwina: The King sent you the letter. Talk to him.

Oof, her name in the OE. I can’t decide whether I love it or hate it.

JP: エドワード国王： お前が　テムと申すか？ さえない　身なりを　しておるな。
T: King Edward: You’re Tim, then? Your clothes are unappealing.
OE: King Edward: You’re Will? You look so… shabby.

This is almost the exact same thing as what Karen said when she met Tim. She softened it a little bit. I’m translating as clothes are unappealing but I doubt I’d keep it like that if I were doing a romhack. It’s not punchy enough. Honestly shabby is a really good choice.

JP: さて　さっそくだが 水しょうの指輪は　もってきたか？
>はい
>いいえ
T: Now, without further delay, did you bring the crystal ring?
>Yes
>No
OE: Well, did you bring the Crystal Ring?

We have a choice. The end result is the same either way, but the dialogue is different. Here’s what happens if you select Yes:

JP: よかろう。 なかなか　素直な子じゃな。 さあ　指輪を　出すがよい。
テム： ．．．．．．．．．．．．．
T: Good. That’s very obedient of you. Go on, get it out.
Tim: ……
OE: Good. An honest lad. Give me the Ring.
Will: ………….

JP: エドワード国王：む？ お前は　今　わしに　うそを ついたなっ！？
T: King Edward: Hmm? Did you lie to me just now!?
OE: King Edward: Hmm? Are you lying to me, young whelp?!

Young whelp is invented. I think it’s fine to throw in things like that to convey tone.

If you choose No instead, the king says:

JP: よくも　まあ　ぬけぬけと そんなことが　言えたものだなっ！！
T: How dare you say such a thing! Such impudence!
OE: How dare you say such a thing to me!!

The remaining dialogue is the same no matter which option you chose:

JP: まあ　そんなことだろうと思ったわ！ さあ。　兵士ども！ こいつを　ろうやへ　ブチこめえっ！
そして　テムの家へゆき 指輪を　さがしだすのじゃ！
T: Well, I thought that would be the case! Guards! Throw this rotten kid in jail!
Then, go to his house and find the ring!
OE: Guards!! Throw this impudent weasel in prison!
Then go to Will’s house and find the Ring!

The king refers to Tim as こいつ (koitsu). There’s no direct translation for this. It’s a derogatory pronoun. Literally it just means this person, but it has a negative implication. You can pretty much pick any insult that conveys the tone.

JP: 兵士：　はっ！　ただいま！
テム： おばさん！　たすけてっ！
エドワード王后： オバサンですってっ？！！！
T: Soldier: Yes sir! Right away!
Tim: Old lady! Help me!
Queen Edward: Did you just call me “OLD LADY”!?
OE: Soldier: Yes, sir!
Will: Ma’am! Save me!!
Queen Edwina: Did you say Ma’am??!

This confused me as a kid. I didn’t understand that the queen is supposed to be outraged. I thought she was speaking in a neutral tone, in which case the dialogue is odd. Like she’s saying, “Uh, were you talking to me?” [scene end]

The problem is that ma’am is a fairly respectful word. Usually you’d call royalty your highness or something, but ma’am doesn’t strike me as horribly rude. In Japanese Tim calls her おばさん (obasan). おばさん literally means aunt. It’s can be used for any older woman regardless of familial relation, but unless it’s someone you’re close with, it would be rude. It can also be translated as ma’am sometimes, but in this situation you’d want to use the more offensive translation.

Internationally, auntie is a common English word for older women. And just as in Japanese, it can carry rude connotations. Here’s an example of someone using it in a derogatory way. It would be an absolutely perfect word to use here, except it isn’t used much that way in the United States. It would come off as weird to Americans.

It’s hard for me to judge how long is too long for these posts. This seems like a natural stopping point. Next stop, jail.